**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize