Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im holly from the hills drunk
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
