the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
