Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize