Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
