every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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