there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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