I CAN MOONWALK!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
