I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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