batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
