Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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