Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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