Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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