So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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