a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize