Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
