you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
