But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
