Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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