I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
