can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
