you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
