I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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