we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
