this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
as a side note pls kill me
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
