Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
