Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
