just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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