mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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