I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
