I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
