I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
