just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
