All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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