I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
