Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
