This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
