He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I look better un-naked...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
