Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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