I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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