I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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