Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
