you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
