I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So vagazzling was a success
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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