I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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