we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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