I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
we're so committed to being not committed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
