im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
