party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
