Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
