you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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