i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
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You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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