Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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