We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
