in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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