I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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