I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hate all girls vehemently.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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