Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I forgot wine drunk hurts
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
