I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
