final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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